thoughts on abortion

such a random topic. i know. 

but for class i had to do a 5 minute presentation on my thoughts of abortion and what will i do when my patient comes in and asks me for an abortion. 

well. after hearing my classmates response- i sought the help from the higher powers. 

ryan. and jesus. 

my classmates (yeah mine was one of the last to be posted. whatever). they said things like, yeah its not right, but i'd help them. or well, i don't agree but i won't judge them. i'll give them what they want. very standard. not thought out responses. 

well. 

if you know me, you know... im not going to go with the standard. easy answer. 

i went for the bio-ethics books and ryan's ethics notes from divinity school. 

and well. this is what i got. 

mixed in with a couple random things i had to answer for class. 

here goes nothing... 

I would like to begin with a story. It was told by the Dean of Duke Chapel Sam Wells. He says,

“Several years ago I sat down with Brian and Clare. Clare was 15 weeks pregnant. They’d recently been told

that the child she was expecting would be so severely disabled that it might survive only a few agonizing days after birth; maybe only minutes. I asked them the two questions I always ask. “What’s the best thing that can happen?” Clare said, “That I might find peace”. “What’s the worst thing that can happen?” She said, “That I might have this child, and it might live, terribly troubled and hugely disfigured, and that my friends might come round once or twice, and then I’d be left all alone.”

So I said to Brian and Clare, “What you want is peace, and what you fear is being alone. But may I suggest that what you need is the church?” “Oh” said Clare, “My dad is right against abortion. He thinks people who have abortions go to hell. My mom is all for women’s rights. She thinks it should be my choice.” I replied, as gently as I could, “Can I suggest to you that we’re not really talking about campaigning for abortion or campaigning for women’s rights? I’m not sure it’s really about legislation and I don’t think it’s really about going to hell. Because all these people with their certainties, for all their self-importance, have left you all alone. Alone now, with your decision: and alone in six months time, when you might need all the help you can get. You don’t feel able to ask for real help, and you sense, probably rightly, that real help isn’t there. It’s perfectly understandable that you’re drawn to a technological solution. But the real problem is one that an abortion won’t solve. You need people who won’t leave you on your own. You need a hope that knows there are things worse than physical suffering. You need people around you who will make your life beautiful even if it’s not happy. What you need is the church.

 What will I do when a pregnant woman comes in and asks about abortion? First thing’s first. Find out her story. Ask Why? What’s going on? And then after hearing her story ask her

What is the best thing that could happen??

What is the worst thing that could happen??

 The most important thing I could do at this moment is listen.

As an FNP my responsibility is to educate, inform and keep my patient safe. According to the National Abortion Federation there are numerous aspects of abortion I could perform after training, but I would choose not to. I would focus my care on educating and informing my patient the best I could.

The best thing to do for this patient--- build a relationship. Let her talk. Let her share. Find out why. Find her a place to belong- whether it is the church or not. A support group. A women’s home. Help her see there is hope. There are options. Trying to find the beauty in the darkness.

We have around 4 million live births a year in the US. And we have a million abortions. This is such a common procedure that just does not make sense to me. The problem is much bigger than abortion. In my opinion the bigger problem that should be dealt with is a lack of education to women and girls. I truly believe that the ‘abortion issue’ could be almost completely avoided if we would begin educating women and girls more thoroughly. As we have seen in our readings this week there are numerous ways to have effective birth control. We should be educating women on the chance of pregnancy. The need for birth control. and we should be telling even younger girls on risks of sex. We heard in our lecture that middle schoolers are having oral sex. They (most likely) have no idea about protection, and of course we all know that oral sex is just going to lead to sex sooner or later.

Girls are being bombarded with media presenting teen pregnancy as a “fun/trendy/cool” thing. Teens aren’t worried about becoming pregnant and then ones that are, are not practicing safe sex practices. Teen pregnancy has become idolized in the past 5 years and is now something to be admired. This is clearly a problem.

It is our job as NPs to educate all aged women on the proper ways to protect themselves from pregnancy. And at EVERY visit.

On my first day at clinical we had a 15 year old seeking out contraceptive use. The mid-wife I am with spent 20 minutes discussing all sorts of birth control with the patient and then after she picked the one she wanted, the mid-wife continued to discuss sex with the girl. I chose not to be sexually active until marriage, but I know that most people do not. It is not my place to judge, but to inform. Educate. Care for. And Listen.

I will also add that since I have only been to clinic one day (before I saw this assignment) I was not able to ask if anyone in the practice performs abortions. But I will look into it.

So to close. Back to the topic at hand.

Why do we even have abortions? People feel ashamed. Because we feel abandoned. We don’t feel we have the emotional support or the money or security to meet all our commitments or give a child a chance in life without destroying our own.

One reason is we fear that a disabled life is less than a full life. We’re so concerned to abolish suffering that we would rather end life than watch a life in distress.

I can help my patients see that those are not the truth. Ashamed? We have all made mistakes. Alone? There are support groups. There is the church. Perhaps family.

And if you are a Christian- or maybe not a believer at all--- I would say that we ALL should be in the business of forming and fostering communities in which unexpected life is welcomed as a gift rather than a threat. Christians should be opening our arms saying, “come and live with me”.

hopefully the teacher will hear the passion. sense the hard work. and realize this was very thought out. and give me a good grade. hopefully not 'judge' me for it. and give me a poor one. oh well. it was a great thought provoking assignment that will actually be beneficial in life. :) 

many props to stanley hauerwas. sam wells. and ryan snider.