motivation

im lacking it.
i only have one final to study for.... but i can't find the mojo to do it.
i try. i study. i make it about an hour and im bored. tired. exhausted. done.

hm.

ive gotten 2 hours of studying in today.
a few hours yesterday.

maybe ill walk through the little antique store next door to the coffee shop im in to get a lil blood flowing. blah.

the end is so so so near.
im almost there.

1 final.
1 1/2 days of clinical.
done.

and then my residency.... which i still don't have my placement yet. lets not talk about that.

here's to studying....

april :snow: showers- brings may flowers?!

hm. well. its snowing. yes. snowing.
its april 22.
and snowing.

bizarre right. yeah. it is. i planted tulips a few weeks ago. they are covered up by a towel. talk about classy front yard. but of course... my tulips are shockingly coming up! this year! ...hopefully they will survive the next few days though.

anyway. its crazy.
kinda like life lately.
crazy.
i actually send the end of school. its right here. in front of me. one more class. one more exam. loads of paperwork (proving im doing all these clinicals and online work). and then. a trip to durham. to graduate.

holy smokes. im excited.
residency will be here soon- and im ready! i can't wait.

little lillie is coming to town  the world soon. :) im so very excited about that too. just this hugely life-changing event in the life of my best friend- i can't wait. i can't wait to see this little precious bundle of joy and celebrate with my best friend. i can't wait to hug the bestie. cry. laugh. hug. its going to be awesome!!!

and then... there are lots of other babies coming into the world soon after that! nope. not for me. but lots of other fun people! some of which are still secret :) its an exciting time in our life! but gosh! its crazy!!

here's to my last week of graduate school classes. ever. woah.
i can't believe its already here.

love. peace. excitement. oh and a little snow- from me to YOU!

kids. wednesday. lonely.

let me start with kids. 

ive always loved kids. i can remember "working" in the nursery EVERY sunday when i was a young'un just so i could play with the babies. 

basically- nothing has changed. 

when i worked in the ER i went OUT OF MY WAY to have the peds (aka kids) patients. 

seriously. even if they were screaming, crying, miserable, I wanted THEM! 

the past 3 days I have been immersed in kids. 

(as a result i have a snotty nose myself, and a sore throat- but whatever)

all day. kids. 8 hours. of non-stop snot, pee, screaming, goofing off, laughter, and silliness. 

its been phenomenal. it makes me want to work with kids. all the time. 

really. 

kids are just so different. they are hilarious. they are silly. they scream and cry- but for some reason- i can tell them to chill out and it works. i love walking in a room and saying "whats up" to a 7 yr old boy and he looks at me like woah. you can't be my doctor. 

(well. no im not a doctor. but im going to see you today. and kids- heck most adults - don't know what an NP is- so they think doctor. it works)

i digress. children. i love them. teenagers are CRAZY. dumb. clueless. and "too cool for school". i LOVE talking with them. trying to 'straighten out their thinking' and give them a taste of the grown up world. like a 14yr old girl who WANTS to be pregnant. her best friends have a baby and she wants one. really?!? you do. do you know how to have a baby? do you know about sex? stds? what a baby does? how it changes your life? 

my best friend is pregnant too. that doesn't mean i want a little one of my own! 

anyway. ireally enjoyed spending 30 minutes talking with her about this serious issue. it was good. really good. and heck. she may still end or pregnant, but i did the best I could to educate and help prevent it.

so it has been a great- and EXHAUSTING 3 days. 

2 more to go. 

wednesday. the 'hump' day. halfway over. 

thank goodness. 

tonight i got real lonely. started missing ryan a lot. 

a whole lot. 

thank goodness for facetime. 

iphones are wonderful.

 

so just one phone call created lots of laughs.

smiles. 

and cheered me right up.

 and man. this little guy. hahahaa. 

he was SOOOO confused. it was so funny. 

and cute. 

a 

my boys. im kinda crazy about them. 

i do have a phenomenal husband. i love eeeee him. 

and that puppy. gosh he is crazy. 

2 more days. then im home free. 

yay. 

5 days a week...

how do people work 5 days a week?!?!
i mean- its only monday- and i am exhausted.
i worked 8 long exhausting hours today--- and tomorrow i am supposed to go back for more? and then 3 more days after that?!
it doesn't even comprehend in my head how that works.
i miss my 3 12's (as we nurses call working 3 days a week- 12 hour shifts)
i need a job when i graduate of 3 12's or 4 10's. really. you think im kidding.
i like my life at home.
with my hubby. and puppy.
hmmm.

i wonder how this is going to work out.

adventure...

 today was BEAUTIFUL! 

bright blue sky- and an open road. 

i set out east for my week long rotation. 

it was incredibly uneventful. 

until...

THIS.

in the middle of NO WHERE north carolina... aka the outskirts of rockingham... i stumbled upon this beauty. a nascar track. i got really excited. and even more so because i had seen loads of nascar semi's and tons of RVs. I knew something had to be close by. but seriously. 

i was on a TWO LANE ROAD. 

in the middle of NOWHERE. NOTHING. COUNTRY. 

and then.... i saw the HUGE stadium. 

insane. really. 

anyway.... i arrived. and settled in to my little place for the next week.

 

as cozy as it gets for now. 

anyway. its been a long day. 

im heading to bed soon.... 

here's to finding you a little joy--- or a nascar track--- on your next adventure.

sometimes...

... blessings come in weird, unexpected ways.
monday i woke up sick. real sick. so sick i went to the ER. (it takes next to death for this former ER nurse to go to the ER--- but my doctor couldn't see me and told me to go there. so i did). of course i survived this episode. but. in the midst of all this. my mom was in the car driving up to be with me. she knew her little girl needed her momma-- and boy. i sure did.
my mom is freaking awesome- if you don't know. the fact she just got in her car and left as soon as i called her- doesn't surprise me- but shows how awesome she is. five hour drive. just to be with me. so... i spent monday and tuesday with my mom. it was nice. it was fun. i laughed. we watched snapped (our guilty pleasure). ate some yummy food. and i got a milkshake... since i had a lot of blood drawn. (its an automatic in my family). so yeah.
i may have been sick. and miserable. and worried. but mom came. and that was a blessing. its always fun to be with mom. she makes life better.
and now im on some medicine to hopefully make me better. and it should.
...and yes. im being vague. but details aren't really important. :) just know im not dying. haha :)


sometimes..... life sucks.
next week im going to "primary care pediatric camp". well thats what im calling it anyway. i have a 5 day clinical rotation at a pediatric office. oh and its 4 hours away. so im staying in "housing". that should be interesting. im sure it will get a post. anyway... off to camp i go tomorrow.
so tonight... ryan and i were going to have a little date night. go out to eat. enjoy each other's company. welp.... that didn't work out. ergh. sad. frustrating.

but. im gonna wait and see what kind of lemonade we can make out of these lemons...

Preachers and Sunday afternoon

Maybe you wonder what the preacher does after a long weekend of church activities. Well today. We spent three hours on the couch. Then went and laid in the yard in the sunshine for another hour. Then came back and sat on the couch to watch some masters action. I'd say it's been a perfectly relaxing afternoon. After a wonderful morning of worshipping our risen Lord!

good friday

friday morning around 10am Ryan was telling me about this "carrying the cross" through town event that goes on in canton. I thought- woah. thats cool. when is that?

oh. it starts at 1030.

 

well.... are you going?!? because that sounds really cool and I think we should!

so we rushed through the house, got dressed (because yes. I was still in my pajamas) and headed out. not knowing what to expect. 

at all.

friday morning was one of the most interesting, neatest, thoughtful things i have ever done. a group of people gathered together and literally carried a cross through our little town. 

we stopped at the churches and read scripture and prayed. 

we then walked some more. 

we caused a traffic jam. 

and yes. we even stopped a train. 

(not kidding there)

it only took an hour- but during that hour of thought and reflection- i thought about what it must have been like for Jesus to walk through his town carrying his cross. carrying his death. knowing- im about to die. people were staring at him. ridiculing him. he kept going though. kept going to the cross. i thought about what it means when we- are to take up OUR cross and follow him.

what does that look like? what is that? 

it was good. very good.

 

of course. 

good friday doesn't end on good friday. 

tomorrow brings the joy of resurrection. 

of life.

of color. 

of joy. 

friday was good. but sunday is going to be great. 

love. peace. and joy this easter weekend. 

Things I love:

I've been down the last couple of days. Sad for no reason. And lonely. Maybe it's post beach/family depression. Ok probably is. I miss being close to family and friends. I miss it a lot. So this week I have countered with two things I love. No one: quilting. Two quilts me and Ryan are working on! His is the awesome superhero one. The other one is for sweet Lillie. Then the gardening. Being outside. Getting dirty. Sweating. Planting. It was goo. This is our patio garden. We have a big one going with our church and I'll post pics of that later. But for now. this is it. And some sweet flowers I planted in the front yard. :) yay for spring.

Palm Sunday

It's a favorite Sunday of mine. I enjoy the music. The scripture. The story of the last supper coming to life. Breaking bread as a church family. It was a beautiful service. This evening we had a ridiculously hilarious Easter egg hunt with some kids from church. It was fun. I got a notification on my phone from "the bible" it challenged me to read the story of Jesus' life, death, and resurrection this holy week. I think I will. And share perhaps what happens. I hope you set this next week a part.